sprace: shouxue

[agamid]

Comments

[ravenry]

[ mood. she hates pity most of all.

she doesn't expect anyone to ignore any of the memories shared this week. it is difficult for as much or as little understanding it brings others. ]

You spoke of atonement with me. Part of the reason I lived was to atone.

[ for surviving and being too scared to even try to move to help her mother even though she was only four years old. ]

[agamid]

[ oh, he frowns and carefully sets a hand on her shoulder ]

You were but a child. [ but he knows that helps little ] Do you seek vengeance against those that took her from you?

[ he doesn't know how, since it seems like the emperor is involved ]

[ravenry]

No. There isn't much point. I do not care for vengeance.

[ he will continue not to know how, but he can know why because the void continues to give.

he asked, so he can know because shouxue wouldn't speak much of it unless completely cornered. ]

[agamid]

[ he frowns, frustrated by the impossibility of it all, at how every avenue of justice and freedom is cut off for her due to circumstances outside of her control.

there is little more frustrating than feeling as though you have no agency over your own life.

he sighs. ]

I understand better now some of the wonder you showed when I first displayed Oriflamme for you. [ way back when in the sim room. ] You must be separated from her now, she who lives inside you, no?

... Do you have hope you might not have to return to her and the confines of that palace?

[ravenry]

[ she has had no agency for years, and this ship was just another prison for her. new, same as the old. ]

I don't think she's separated with me. I think she's still here with me. [ ... } Our souls are not wholly separate anymore.

[ she shakes her head. it is not a simple situation with a simple solution or answer. ]

I do not wish to endanger my country.

[ it's a hypothetical to her since they're still trapped and dead, but she hasn't been convinced to free herself. ]

[agamid]

[ her words lay heavy between them, and dion could very well imagine himself saying the very same. that even if returning to valisthea meant his death or a lifetime of suffering, he would choose to go back every time.

he cannot abandon the people. ]

You would endanger them by not returning? Would it spark strife?

[ravenry]

[ she has no love for her country or any patriotism, but she cannot shed her cage at the price of everything else collapsing. ]

History has shown the country will fall. Dynasties do not last. [ ... ] If I could be— [ she shakes her head. ] There will be wars.

[agamid]

[ that is a lot of responsibility for one person ]

Is it not on the country and the people then, to learn to adapt and grow?

[ravenry]

[ she's silent for a while. ]

I do wonder, if there could be a nation to sustain itself without the presence of Niao Lian, but I do not know if it is because that is where she was banished.