If I can be completely honest with you: I don't believe that the gods are ever particularly merciful. I don't know the gods of your world at all, but even still. I think more often than not, they are uncaring of what humanity does. Positively, or negatively. Even when they shine down upon humans, their gifts come too little and too late.
[ you don't even have faith in your own gods, do you? crick had said to him, and it hadn't been wrong. ] In the end, the only one who can determine their own deserving is the person who feels that way in the first place.
... But. In the same sense, perhaps faith is what we make of it, and how we choose to let it lead us when we are lost.
[ another long pause. ] I should like to say prayers for you, Dion, as they are done in your homeland. Properly.
...Because you are my friend, Dion. [ such a rare, rare thing, for someone like temenos. someone reticent and lonely by design, someone who so rarely allows himself to be seen or even known - who allows a bit of his true feelings here to slip through. ] It is as simple as that.
[ he wonders. friends? with a man like him? who has slain his own father and massacred countless more innocents?
a friend that only disappoints and hurts, when temenos has faced so much of that already?
he doesn't deserve such a thing. ]
Temenos. You deserve better than another friend you will lose. [ ... ] And yet, I cannot bring myself to reject this gift of friendship... I understand how precious it is.
[ "you deserve better than another friend you will lose" - dion really has a way of just hitting at the center, doesn't he? temenos is lucky to be facing away from him, probably, because the expression he makes cracks his ever perfect composure. there's a soft noise, almost a laugh, and he closes his eyes - something a little rueful in his voice. caught, again. every single time. ]
I make my own decisions. [ whether they are good ones or bad ones, they are his and his alone. he lets the vulnerability sit, for once, past the brambles of his nature, past the loneliness that still settles on his shoulders even now, like a cloak. temenos takes a deep breath.
and then turns, ever calm expression firmly back into place, and nods. ]
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... I see. [ there's no judgement in his voice or anything - he just looks up at the ceiling. ] Relating to that woman from your memories?
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[ he looks at his hand, the flesh one ]
It was the last time I lost control of myself, and... [ the hand drops ] I do not believe any god would waste their mercy on me.
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If I can be completely honest with you: I don't believe that the gods are ever particularly merciful. I don't know the gods of your world at all, but even still. I think more often than not, they are uncaring of what humanity does. Positively, or negatively. Even when they shine down upon humans, their gifts come too little and too late.
[ you don't even have faith in your own gods, do you? crick had said to him, and it hadn't been wrong. ] In the end, the only one who can determine their own deserving is the person who feels that way in the first place.
... But. In the same sense, perhaps faith is what we make of it, and how we choose to let it lead us when we are lost.
[ another long pause. ] I should like to say prayers for you, Dion, as they are done in your homeland. Properly.
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... Why?
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...Because you are my friend, Dion. [ such a rare, rare thing, for someone like temenos. someone reticent and lonely by design, someone who so rarely allows himself to be seen or even known - who allows a bit of his true feelings here to slip through. ] It is as simple as that.
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a friend that only disappoints and hurts, when temenos has faced so much of that already?
he doesn't deserve such a thing. ]
Temenos. You deserve better than another friend you will lose. [ ... ] And yet, I cannot bring myself to reject this gift of friendship... I understand how precious it is.
[ he smiles, though it's mostly sad ]
Let me show you the funeral rights of Sanbreque.
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I make my own decisions. [ whether they are good ones or bad ones, they are his and his alone. he lets the vulnerability sit, for once, past the brambles of his nature, past the loneliness that still settles on his shoulders even now, like a cloak. temenos takes a deep breath.
and then turns, ever calm expression firmly back into place, and nods. ]
I'm listening. [ teach me, then. one last time. ]